I have had a great day. The sun is out, I ran 7 miles this morning, I "played" at the school for a bit, hung out with my kids, an amazing family brought me dinner just to say thanks for being me.... Overall I am content and loving the quiet mellowness of the current reality.
And yet I have a couple little life irritations, their like a minor hive break out. I know not to "itch" the things that are making me annoyed because that will only make the rash grow and the situation worse. And yet it is there nagging at me.
Usually the things that get to me are inconsistencies with people I spend a lot of time with that I don't feel I can air out with them and have been building for a long time. For example, my professional committment to a friend is almost complete. It has been 5+ years of breathing deeply through some quirks that really push my buttons. But as we reach the end of our time together I find myself tired from carrying my suitcase of frustration.
Set it down, you say? That is a good idea. How? It's petty, I realize that. It only harms me to carry it around. And I don't see the value in opening the suitcase and showing it to the other person. They aren't going to change, and really they don't need to. Either way I only have a little while left, but it would be nice to release it now. So how do I let it go? Have I not really found the root of the pent up hostility? Is it about something else?
I guess I have to make peace with disliking the way certain things are and realizing that I am tolerating them because the benefits are greater than the weight of my suitcase. I can dislike something and choose not to change it. This is how it is, I don't care for it. It will soon change and I will enjoy that. OK, that feels better somehow. Let's see if I can build on that and truly find peace on this issue.