Thanks Mr. B

There are so many people who help each of us in life. Some we see for the angels they are at the time, and others it isn't until much later that we can see how their influence changed our lives. In middle school I had the same teacher for 3 classes in 6th grade, and 4 classes in 7th. Mr. Birkeland taught us english, math, history, health and likely many other subjects, my memory fades. I didn't realize at the time that Mr. B was an art teacher, that is where he true passion was.

He read to us each day after lunch. This was my favorite part of the day, I remember him sitting behind his podium reading Watership Down to the class. I remember the lilt to his voice, his smile, and I always felt secure in that classroom. The 25 to 30 of us in those block classes were thrown together most of the day and he led us through the unsettling middle school years. Possibly, looking back, he had a better understanding of how awkward and uncomfortable those years can be than i ever imagined. I did well in his classes. I recall working hard, but not being overwhelmed or struggling.

The more I reflect the more I see how clueless I was as a young person. One is so self centered in those years (or maybe just me??) and you miss so many things. I realize how little I knew about the man even after spending so much time in his presence. What I do remember is that he was kind and patient and a true blessing my me. At the time I had no idea.

In the Spring of my 7th grade year he had me take a special math test. I don't remember much about the test except that I was one of only a few kids in the class pulled out to take it. And the following year I was place in the upper math class. Getting thrown into the deep end of the pool for math was the key to my being put in the classes that would lead to AP in high school.

I had only just begun to notice that there were different curriculum tracks. I just went to the class they sent me to. I knew there were classes with the "smart" kids but I don't recall thinking much about myself being in those classes or not. I had only transferred into district 411 in 4th grade. So all the sage type things were already set from my vantage point. Mr. Birkeland saw potential in me I didn't know was there as I muddled my way through. It was his hand in getting me into that high level math (my favorite subject) that completely shifted my trajectory and my confidence.

By the time it occurred to me to look him up and say thank you he had passed away. Even so, thank you Mr. Birkeland for seeing me and re-aiming the arrow of my education. I wish I could have told you in person.

Life's Little Hives

I have had a great day. The sun is out, I ran 7 miles this morning, I "played" at the school for a bit, hung out with my kids, an amazing family brought me dinner just to say thanks for being me.... Overall I am content and loving the quiet mellowness of the current reality.

And yet I have a couple little life irritations, their like a minor hive break out. I know not to "itch" the things that are making me annoyed because that will only make the rash grow and the situation worse. And yet it is there nagging at me.

Usually the things that get to me are inconsistencies with people I spend a lot of time with that I don't feel I can air out with them and have been building for a long time. For example, my professional committment to a friend is almost complete. It has been 5+ years of breathing deeply through some quirks that really push my buttons. But as we reach the end of our time together I find myself tired from carrying my suitcase of frustration.

Set it down, you say? That is a good idea. How? It's petty, I realize that. It only harms me to carry it around. And I don't see the value in opening the suitcase and showing it to the other person. They aren't going to change, and really they don't need to. Either way I only have a little while left, but it would be nice to release it now. So how do I let it go? Have I not really found the root of the pent up hostility? Is it about something else?

I guess I have to make peace with disliking the way certain things are and realizing that I am tolerating them because the benefits are greater than the weight of my suitcase. I can dislike something and choose not to change it. This is how it is, I don't care for it. It will soon change and I will enjoy that. OK, that feels better somehow. Let's see if I can build on that and truly find peace on this issue.

Ewok monkey business

My little boy just turned 5. He recently saw Return of the Jedi and fell in love with the Ewoks! So I wanted to share what we did because another blog about an ewok party was inspirational and instructive in putting together Eliot's ewok party. It was great, we had a lot of fun and Eliot was over the moon.

When each kid walked in for the party we gave them a pair of Ewok ears. I got plain plastic headbands from Michael's craft store. Then I glued strips of fuzzy brown fabric onto the underside of the band and then wrapped the fabric around and whip stitched it in place. The glue just gave it stability. I cut out the ears and then stitched them together. Once the ears were formed I put half a pipe cleaner inside to help it stay standing up.

The Ewok cake was just a double layer round cake with some cupcake sculpted to be ears. We used chocolate and coconut pecan icing with some red icing and a chocolate for the nose!

The little ewoks wanted to hunt for storm troopers! I spray painted galvanized buckets white and used a sheet of black duct tape to make the eyes and mouth. This worked as a great holder for all the kid's take home goodies. We hid them around the house (outside would have been better but the weather wasn't onboard) and the boys each found one and stopped the baddies!

And my daughter made coloring pages full of ewoks and their cohorts. Princess Leia, Luke, and an ewok on a speeder. So cute! So I copied them and she turned the pages into coloring books for each kid, complete with cover. The kids had a blast!

Who's your mama?

Mother's Day has been a little hit or miss over the last 8 years. The low point was the year that Eliot was a tiny baby and all I wanted was a morning to sleep in. It was going along along swimmingly until Alex poured a cup of water over Aresa's head out of sheer frustration. Needless to say no one was very happy that day.

But today's has been delightful. The sun is out, Aresa has been bursting with excitement for days over her big plans for me. The kids decorated frames and Alex took pictures of them, Aresa drew a picture of me and wrote about why she loves me and breakfast in bed complete with chocolate pudding and cookie crumbs. Now really, how awesome is that :)

Being a mom is tough. Having one can be tough. But if you remember we are all learning and growing and practicing it can make it easier to forgive all parties!

My hope for the day is to simply be together and have fun. No rushing, no arguing, no yelling. Good day. Hope you have a good one too!

Watching Them Grow

I have been very fortunate to be able to help out in my daughter's first grade classroom the second half of this school year and be one of the class' garden docents. I look forward to it all week. It is so fun to get to know all the kids. I try to connect with as many of the students as I can. I figure these are the other humans that are likely to be in my daughter's life (and mine) for the next decade and a half. I want to know them and I want them to know me.

I look across the class somedays and imagine who they will each become. And I hope I can still say hi in the halls when they are in high school even if that hi is actually a tiny little nod and fleeting eye contact. These kids are part of my community and even the ones who are already having a tougher go of it, I want to be an adult in their life however minor who saw them and smiled at them. Many aren't likely to remember past the moment, but it's important to me anyway. I try connect as a human and only use my authority card when needed. Packs a bigger punch. This is the luxury of only being around once a week. It's like being an auntie vs. mom. Mom is worn out and has had that same irritating behavior plague her for an eternity, whereas it's new to Auntie and she can provide respite to both parties!

Time is whizzing by

I had such lovely intentions. Like a new mom I thought I would manage to capture all the little changes and events that come with a new puppy. What a great thought that has no basis in my reality's current priority list. So here is the recap.

Henry, the sweetest pup I could have imagined, arrived at our house in mid-January. We had all that snow followed by the ice storm/power outage. The day after regaining power Alex and I drove over to Yakima to pick up the little guy. We were fortunate to have brand new snow tires that rocked, several large smart semi's to lead us, and I82 out to Yak was bare! I only had one freak out due to the roads, much to Alex's delight. Henry was a trooper all the way home and immediately fit into our lives.

He and the kids were instant pals. It is only now several months later that Henry is starting to realize Eliot is not a littler mate to be tackled at every opportunity. Aresa helps tucker him out whenever possible, she has been a life saver in the mornings when Henry wants to play and I have 3 humans to get up and going in their various directions.

He is the best behaved/calmest Jack we have ever had. He is a pup and has energy but he really just wants to be with you preferably in your lap chewing on a stick. We are all getting better at the potty dance and all the other precautions one must take when "piranha teeth" is in the house.

Having a new puppy has a lot of similarities to a new baby, mostly that it takes a while to get a routine going. I found that almost 3 months later I am just now managing to get things done. I sent Henry to puppy camp for the morning yesterday and was almost flummoxed as to what to do with all the "free time" not worrying about exercising the pup.

Jefferson, our 10 year old house bunny, is still alive--thankfully. He and Henry are doing better than I had feared. Henry does run after him to play every once in a while, but we keep a close eye and a hand on the squirt bottle. We are looking for a new home for Jefferson in an effort to make his golden years less annoying. That said I think hidden within his irritation towards Henry, is a bunny who loves the attention.

Henry is a fantastic addition to our family. I am really happy to have him with us.

We got new pictures of little Henry today. He is 6 weeks
old. He is of course super cute. But these pictures remind us of Edgar. We don’t know Henry's personality traits yet as we haven’t met him, but there is something about the way he looks at the camera that reminds Alex, my mom, and I of Edgar. He has a
regal meets mischievous look to him! And that was certainly Edgar.

When I first met Alex, Edgar was full of personality. He used to literally tie me up in his leash when Alex and I would take him on walks. He did not like me muscling in on his human in those first months. And he would run away most mornings in search of Alex, poor guy was incensed at not being taken along. He could have come if he hadn’t insisted on marking everywhere he went… One of the times he stayed with my parents he jumped up on their dining room table and ate an entire stick of butter and
jumped down again before anyone could get into the room. He liked to mark the same spot at their house until it started leaking urine through the basement ceiling. Ah Edgar, he certainly did have an opinion. I tend to recall the mellow ancient creature he was in his last years. But he was an exercise in patience for a long time. Dagny on the other hand was nowhere near as troublesome. She was a dog, she barked and sniffed and whatnot, but generally she was a good girl. And yet I miss Edgar every day and Dags, well it was lovely while she was here and I hope she is a happy angel dog but I don’t really miss her.